[size doesn't matter]

[Sirius Black]

Sirius entered the bathroom almost at a run. He almost didn't reach the urinal before his zipper was undone and he was doing his business. Thankfully though, he did. And the relief he got from it was unbelievable. He'd been bursting to go all lesson and he'd darted out of class the second the bell rang. Damn Binns and his 'no bathroom breaks' rule. Just because ghosts didn't pee didn't mean no one else did!

His hand rested on the wall infront of him to give him support as it kept on coming, his bladder had been full to the brim. Just then the door to the boy's bathroom opened and in walked Remus Lupin. Sirius grinned over at the ill-looking boy and grinned. "'Ello Moony! Impressed?" he laughed.

[Remus Lupin]

Remus, although pale from the full moon approaching in two days, let out a laugh that was unexpectedly loud. Much like Sirius' laugh, which was like barking. He shook his head short after and stated. "Sirius, I thought it would be bigger mate. Girls that have been with you rave on about it."

He flinched at what he just said and let out another laugh. "Oi, you're making me turn out gay. Sirius, I never thought of you as the type who'd give up normal sex for gay banging."

[Sirius Black]

Sirius frowned at Remus, "Obviously you need you need your eyes testing, mate. I'll have you know, mine is well above the average length for my age and build. I'm not surprised they rave about it! Have you seen it? Plus, the muggle girls I've done are even more impressed because the guys they are used to are half the size. It's scientifically proven that wizards are bigger than muggles. Bet you didn't know that did you o wise one?"

"I had nothing to do with it, it was all your own doing," Sirius looked over his shoulder at Remus while he replied. "Who said anything about giving up normal sex? Can't say I see the appeal of having something shoved up your arse but I suppose it can't be that bad if the number of homosexuals there are is something to go by. But then again, I'll try anything once."

[Remus Lupin]

"You'll try everything once is your saying, mate," Remus stated, strolling over to one of the sinks. He came here because earlier on, that Olga female who came onto him a year ago, had confronted him again. It seemed like she took it upon herself to be-flower Remus or something. He was really weirded out by it. Plus, he always acted weird whenever he did see her, only because he was terrified at what she would do to him ( or if she could rape him if she really wanted to ). So this time, when she came up to him, he somehow got ink squirted on her face and bolted to the nearest loo. Lucky enough, Sirius was there, and distracted him by how oddly posed he was while taking a leak.

Remus turned on the taps and rolled his white shirt's sleeves up. He knew a spell, but it was too vigorous on his hands... would make his skin red. Sirius, being the metrosexual he was at times, told Remus not to use that spell again. Remus began scrubbing off the ink he managed on his finger tips. He noticed that Sirius wasn't coming up to him anytime soon, so he asked out loud, "I guess women rave on about you for a reason. You probably gained an enormous bladder while you're at it."

[Sirius Black]

Sirius zipped up his trousers and followed Remus to the sinks. He turned the tap and a stream of ice cold water gushed out. His hands went underneath as he replied, "Of course I've got an enormas bladder. I doubt the ladies would be too impressed if I had to say, 'Hang on. Could you take your mouth off a moment, I need to pee.' Would they? I've practiced holding it in but even I have my limits."

He looked around for something to wipe his wet hands on but when he found nothing he shrugged and wiped them on his trousers. "What are you doing in here anyway?" he suddenly asked. "You arrive just moment after I do, you haven't use the toilets yet and you start going on about anal sex! You're being very suspicious you know that Moony? Looking for a quickie in the bathroom were you? Hmmm?" Sirius narrowed his eyes at his friend. His hands shot down to 'protect' his arse.

[Remus Lupin]

Well, from what Sirius just said to Remus, Remus knew that Sirius's flimsy attempt of 'protect'ing himself wouldn't save him. Remus turned the tap off and whipped his hands a few time quickly, just to take most of the remaining water off of his hands. Noticing that there really was no towels to wipe of his hands, Remus reached for the next best thing. He leaned towards Sirius and grabbed his mate's sleeve and rubbed both hands on it a couple of times. After speculating his hands and being satisfied by how dry they were, he let go of Sirius's arm. Next, though, he lifted his leg and gave a good kick at his friend's arse.

"That's for presuming things, mate. Sorry about that," Remus said with a crooked grin. He laughed and leaned against one of the dry sinks and said. "Olga tried to get physical with me again," He gave a glare to Sirius. If it wasn't for him and his big mouth, neither Olga would be after him OR the whole school would know about the case of his 'v'-ness. "So, naturally, I found away to make her distracted from me and ran off."

[Sirius Black]

Sirius was in two minds whether to pull his arm away from Remus' wet hands or not. Opting not to he watched his friend dry them using his sleeve with a small frown forming on his face. "Are you quite done? You might as well just transfigure me into your own personal towel," then realising what he'd said he added, "Don't even think about it!"

When he saw Remus lift his leg to kick him, Sirius quickly moved his hands out of the way. Though he soon wished he hadn't when the foot made contact with his arse. "Moony!" he winced then he winked, "My bum's still sore from what you and your kinky sex toys done to it last night. A little more consideration, please? Tonight, you're going on the recieving end!" Of course none of it was true but he just loved winding Remus up.

[Remus Lupin]

"Re... re... receiving end?" Sometimes, Remus really had to wonder. And in the case of wondering, right here and now, he kind of lost balance and slipped into the actual sink. His legs were right against his chest as he struggled to slip out of his seat. Finally, as he did, he let out an uneasy laugh, knowing his face was red from the awkward sitting position that reduced him in taking shallow breaths for the last few minutes.

"Are we doing anything tonight?" Remus asked, looking up at Sirius. He quickly corrected himself and asked, "I mean, Prongs, Wormtail, and you and I. Any adventures?"

[Sirius Black]

Sirius rolled his eyes at Remus' naivety but he didn't have change to comment on it because he was soon snorting with laughter and looking down at the pile that was his friend. "Need a hand there?" he asked in between chuckles and offering his own.

"Well I thought we could smother ourselves in chocolate then lick each other clean," he smirked, "Oh, you meant all four of us? I suppose Prongs and Wormtail could join in too but I doubt that they're into that sort of stuff. Seriously though, I was planning to sneak off to Hogsmeade and hopefully smuggle in a crate of firewhiskey. Though maybe I shouldn't be telling this to you of all people. You ain't gonna turn me in are you?"

[Remus Lupin]

"No, on the contrary, I need something like that... if I keep having women like Olga persuit me, I need all the alcohol I can gain," Remus told Sirius with a cheeky grin. He was just ignoring Sirius rant of homo-action and such. Being friends with Sirius, you have to get used to and ignore what he says. Sirius always has a phase over things to annoy Remus, this phase was about homosexuality. The most annoying phase was about metrosexuals and how Sirius was proud to be one of those who cares about the way he looks.

[Sirius Black]

"Drunken werewolf, can't wait to see that." Deciding that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, Sirius sat down on the cold tile floor and crossed his legs. He leant back on his arms and looked up to the other boy.

Laughing he asked, "Care to join me, Emu?" Emu was Sirius' other nickname for Remus. He'd had a certain brand of fizzy drink from Honeydukes which had made him hyper for a whole day. In between fits of giggling about absolute nothing he'd took it upon himself to start calling Remus, Remu, which then developed to just Emu. Just mentioning the name still caused him to chuckle at the memory. Since then his friends had never let him buy that drink again. "I've been thinking," giggle, "Emu."

[Remus Lupin]

Ah, the Emu nickname... it reminded Remus of that bird ( whether it had the same name or not, Remus couldn't quite remember that ). Remus shrug and slid off from his seat of the sink. He swear his pants were slightly getting wet from some water leakage. He should report that later on, prefect duty... maybe he would get some reward for being so caring about the school.

"Padfoot.... thinking? What about?!" Remus asked, interested.

[Sirius Black]

"I think about a lot of things I'll have you know! Girls, females, women...just to name a few things. But that's not the point, Remus, you're getting off subject! The point is that I was thinking yesterday in History of Magic since they've nothing else better to do in that room apart from staring at that lass who sits next me. I can never remember her name...what is it? You know who I'm talking about, Moony! The one who wears such skirts that I've even caught you peeking a few times. Anyway, enough about whats-her-face's amzing arse," Sirius paused for a moment with a confused look plastered across his features, "What was I even talking about?"

He ran a hand through his hair, stll trying to remember what his point had been when he'd started rampling but getting nowhere he sighed and said, "It's all your fault, if you hadn't distracted me I would be telling you about my brilliant prank idea that I had in History of Magic yesterday." Realising what's said, Sirius smiled to himself.